Tuesday, March 20, 2018

My Endometriosis Diagnosis Story | Endometriosis Awareness

Do you know how you can go so many years with mystery pain and no Doctor seems to give you a diagnosis? Well, this happened to me.  I want to share My Endometriosis Diagnosis Story and bring Endometriosis Awareness to the light.

Endometriosis Diagnosis _ Mary Miranda of My Fit Healing facebook meta

Each month, I find myself glued to my heating pad for the first 1-2 days of my menstrual cycle.  Sometimes you find me in the bathroom throwing up or sweating from my low blood pressure.  But, often I am crawled into a little ball in my bed, hugging my heating pad and in so much pain.  I never knew pain like that before and it happens each month during my period.  I always had irregular periods and my cramps were never as severe as they became after I lost my right ovary in 2006.  I’d often tell myself, “I don’t get it, I don’t have my right ovary and how can my cramps be so unbearable, especially on my right side.”  The doctor said my severe cramps were due to scarring tissue from losing the right ovary, so I just thought Id deal with this pain until I’m done menstruating.  I’d always get very anxious and scared as my period got closer each month.  I’d monitor closely and plan my life around the days I’d get it.  I’d not be able to go to work or go out.  I never knew the impact it had on my quality of life each month.

Twice I went to immediate care out of pain, but it was useless. They leave you 2-3 hours dealing with your pain while they try to make sense of it.  In my 2nd time, that’s when they did my first ultrasound and found out about my Uterine Fibroid, but it was less than 2cm.  They only gave me ibuprofen for pain and I was sent my way.  Well, fast forward to 2017 when I found my Uterine Fibroid Tumor grew to 8.1cm in diameter and in addition, I also had an Endometrioma Cyst on my left ovary.  Did I mention it’s my only ovary left?  I had my Myomectomy surgery to remove tumor and cyst on February 9th and it was all a success (read the story here).

I had my post-surgery appointment on February 13th.  I thought Doctor was just going to remove the tape and tell me 6-weeks recovery and all was going to be fine.  I thought he was just going to tell me I am finally healed from all my issues with my reproductive organs.  Well, I was wrong.  I was very wrong!  “Mary, you have ENDOMETRIOSIS!”  I froze and was numb and forgot even ask the questions I needed, such as “when can I go back to the gym?” “am I fertile?” “How did this happen?”  I couldn’t think of anything else but the word Endometriosis.  I knew exactly what it was because a few friends had it.  I just never thought I had it for a few years without having a diagnosis.  It is one of those conditions that are hard to diagnose unless they operate on you. Often it can be misdiagnosed as something else.  However, he did mention they cleared all the scar tissue caused by endometriosis and that it had spread to my left ovary and fallopian tube, hence why I had an Endometrioma Cyst

It hasn’t been an easy journey lately with so many things in my head, but I’m super resilient and positive.

Now, I want to share with you the most common symptoms of Endometriosis to bring Endometriosis Awareness.

Endometriosis Diagnosis Symptoms:

  1. Pain with pelvic examinations.
  2. Irregular or heavy menstruation.
  3. Severe menstrual pains.
  4. Spotting or bleeding between periods.
  5. Throwing up during menstruation.
  6. Periods that last over 7 days.
  7. Pelvic pain that may worsen during menstruation.
  8. Painful sexual intercourse.
  9. Cramping during intercourse.
  10. Painful bowel movements or urination (when Endometriosis has spread to the urinary bladder).
  11. Infertility.  Women who experience infertility could be suffering from Endometriosis, but it does not cause it.
  12. Need a heating pad or something warm to help with cramp pain.
  13. High estrogen levels can make symptoms and condition worst.
  14. Diarrhea, constipation, and nausea.

Other symptoms associated with Endometriosis Diagnosis could be

  1. Lower abdominal pain
  2. Lower back pain
  3. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
  4. Diarrhea and/or constipation
  5. Bloated
  6. Chest Pain or coughing (when Endometriosis has spread to lungs)
  7. If Endometriosis has spread to any visceral organs, then those organs can start malfunctioning.
  8. Bloody urine during menstruation
  9. Ovarian Cysts (specially endometrioma cysts)
  10. GI issues, such as IBS
  11. Allergies/autoimmune diseases
  12. Ovarian and breast cancer

Endometriosis Diagnosis _ Mary Miranda of My Fit Healing 3

What is the cause of Endometriosis?

The root cause of Endometriosis is not known.

How does it happen?

Hormones signal the lining of your Uterus to thicken, the lining is called Endometrium and it’s build up of Endometrial cells and tissue.  It’s meant to prepare the Uterus to receive a fertilized egg.  When fertilization does not happen, the uterus sheds the lining through the vagina, hence why we have our menstrual cycle (period) and we bleed.  Normally, Endometrial tissue grows inside the uterus cavity to prepare the lining of the womb (Uterus).   Endometriosis is the abnormal growth of the lining of the Endometrial tissue similar to that which lines the interior of the uterus but in a location outside of the uterus.  Basically what should happen inside the Uterus, happens outside of the Uterus!  The Endometrial tissue grows outside of the uterus and spreads to other organs and we bleed on the outside causing endometrial tissue to build up, grow and attach itself to the exterior of the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, visceral organs, lungs, bladder, etc.  Now, since there is no way for the blood and endometrial tissue to scape, it stagnates and becomes scar tissue, which can trigger pain, inflammation, and be a huge cause of infertility if adhesions (scar tissue) happen in the fallopian tubes and causes them to close.  Lastly, it can develop Endometrioma Cysts, otherwise known and “chocolate cysts” and this is what I dealt with and were surgically removed (read about it here).

What is the cure for Endometriosis?

There is no cure for endometriosis and to eliminate it completely.  There is a surgical procedure to remove the Endometriosis scar tissue, but it will most often come back.  In my case, it was removed from my left ovary, left the fallopian tube and the exterior of my uterus.

Here are some common cures for Endometriosis that Doctors usually suggest, yet I don’t feel strongly about any of them given it does not really cure it.
  1. Induced menopause preserving your reproductive organs.
  2. Hysterectomy
  3. Pregnancy, yet it will come back after pregnancy.
  4. Birth Control

Honestly, since I live a holistic lifestyle and it’s the reason why my symptoms aren’t as worst as other sufferers and mine are only the first 2 days of my menstrual cycle.

These are the holistic practices I’ve taken to start healing my Endometriosis Diagnosis.

  1. Endometriosis diet, which is anti-inflammatory, alkaline and gut healing too.
  2. I don’t take hormones and will not take Birth Control as it ruins your gut flora (gut bacteria) and digestive system.
  3. Exercise and Eat Healthy
  4. Drink a lot of Water.
  5. Essential Oils
  6. Heating Pad
  7. Don’t use tampons or pads.  Use a menstrual cup (Diva Cup)
  8. Avoid any product that can cause Estrogen levels to elevate.
  9. Stress relief activities such as yoga, meditation, and journaling.
  10. Natural supplements
  11. Coffee enemas
  12. Castor oil packs
  13. Herbal teas

 

Endometriosis Diagnosis | Mary Miranda of My Fit Healing pinterest meta 2

Marks are from the heating pad and bloating from Endometriosis Diagnosis.

Please seek Medical advice for any of the symptoms, this information is just for awareness and not intended to treat or diagnosed anyone with Endometriosis Diagnosis.

Do you know anyone that sufferers or think it could suffer from Endometriosis? Share this information with them to help with Endometriosis Diagnosis.

How do you heal or make you Endometriosis pain better?

Love,

Mary

Resource used: Endometriosis

The post My Endometriosis Diagnosis Story | Endometriosis Awareness appeared first on My Fit Healing.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

My Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Surgery and Story

I want to share my personal story and journey of having a Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst.  As shocking as you might be if you read my last post on losing my right ovary, then you might be a little shocked.  It seems that my female reproductive system is acting up a lot in the past decade.  On December 16, I went to see my OBGYN, I was feeling anxious and nervous about getting my ultrasound results, yet I tried to look positive.  I also felt excited to finally find out a diagnosis or something that gave me light to my so many unanswered questions.  “Mary, you have an 8cm diameter tumor in your uterus and also a mass in your right ovary that appears to be an Endometrioma Cyst.”  My heart sank and I began a new anguishing journey to save my chances of becoming a mother.

I woke up one morning saying “wow I look pregnant, that’s so weird.”  I vividly remember that day feeling confused because I knew the only way my ‘belly’ looked like that was when I’d eat something that made me bloated.  I knew my eating habits were always good and following a Ketogenic diet removed my constant bloating caused by Leaky Gut Syndrome.  I let it go thinking it was just some random reaction in my digestive system, but it stayed in the back of my head.  Mornings are usually the times when we feel our “skinniest.”  It just didn’t make sense how I looked like 3-4 months pregnant.  Back in 2014, my OBGYN told me I had a fibroid, but it was 2cm in diameter and very small.  He suggested it was best to follow up with pap-smears, pelvic exams, and ultrasounds to monitor its growth.  Given I felt fine and didn’t have health insurance, I didn’t go back for my yearly check-ups and simply carried on with my life.

My Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Story I want to share my personal story and journey of having a Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst.  As shocking as you might be if you read my last post on losing my right ovary, then you might be a little shocked.  It seems that my female reproductive system is acting up a lot in the past decade.  On December 16, I went to see my OBGYN, I was feeling anxious and nervous about getting my ultrasound results, yet I tried to look positive.  I also felt excited to finally find out a diagnosis or something that gave me light to my so many unanswered questions.  "Mary, you have an 8cm diameter tumor in your uterus and also a mass in your right ovary that appears to be an Endometrioma Cyst."  My heart sank and I began a new anguishing journey to save my chances of becoming a mother. I woke up one morning saying "wow I look pregnant, that's so weird."  I vividly remember that day feeling confused because I knew the only way my 'belly' looked like that was when I'd eat something that made me bloated.  I knew my eating habits were always good and following a Ketogenic diet removed my constant bloating caused by Leaky Gut Syndrome.  I let it go thinking it was just some random reaction in my digestive system, but it stayed in the back of my head.  Mornings are usually the times when we feel our "skinniest."  It just didn't make sense how I looked like 3-4 months pregnant.  Back in 2014, my OBGYN told me I had a fibroid, but it was 2cm in diameter and very small.  He suggested it was best to follow up with pap-smears, pelvic exams, and ultrasounds to monitor its growth.  Given I felt fine and didn't have health insurance, I didn't go back for my yearly check-ups and simply carried on with my life.  November 2017, I was finally able to get health care for OBGYN only and immediately scheduled an appointment.  The fear of another ovarian cyst or if the fibroid had grown more was always in the back of my head, but I tried not to focus or think negatively of it.  I practice the Law of Attraction so I tend not to focus on the negative to avoid attracting more negative feelings or situations into my life.  Yet, not experiencing any symptoms kept me unworried and feeling everything was okay.   As soon as Nurse Practitioner did my pelvic exam, I felt an overwhelming amount of painful pressure in my abdomen.  I knew something was not right.  She didn't say a word and said I'd get results in a few days.   I didn't get a diagnosis or the ultrasound prescription I wanted.  She said I needed to make the appointment with the OBGYN.  A few weeks passed and I finally got my appointment and ultrasound order.   A Uterine Fibroid or Ovarian Cysts are only visible and detected via ultrasounds.  A pelvic exam can be tricky to detect them.  I saw the ultrasound and my eyes widened seeing how big it had gotten.   I couldn't believe it.  It was twice the size of my uterus and had grown 3-4 times since 2014.  Yet, the Ultrasound technician never mentioned a mass in my left ovary.  I left and waited to see the OBGYN two weeks later and he broke the news, "Mary, you have a Uterine Fibroid Tumor that's 8cm in diameter and Endometrioma Cyst."  I thought, "endo what?"  He didn't really explain what it was, he just said I needed to find a way to have surgery soon. I left the office crying and literally afraid to lose my chances of being a Mother.  So many things went through my mind, "what if I lose the ovary." "what if the ovary is not pathologically functional," "what if I lose my uterus," "what if I have to get a hysterectomy."  I was in anguish because I want to have a baby.  That's all I could think about. Having a Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst is not the end of the world, but for me, it felt it was the end of my chances of being a Mother.  I'm huge in personal development and mindset and thank goodness that kept me sane and mentally strong.  I knew I had to find a way to have the surgery.  The healthcare I got, did not cover anything outside of that clinic.  I found a way to make things happen, I applied for financial assistance at the hospital and created a GoFundMe that helped me part of my portion the hospital approved. My surgery was February 9th at 2 pm.  The doctor was able to remove the Uterine Fibroid and Endometrioma Cyst and save my chances of being able to have a baby.  The surgery was a success and I'm so very glad it was over.  I'm currently sitting here, narrating my story 1 week postsurgery.  I was released the next day and now I'm home recovering. Now, I want to share a few overlapping symptoms that you can experience with an ovarian cyst and uterine fibroid. It is important for me to share these, in case you are reading this and find yourself experiencing any of them.  Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Overlapping Symptoms Ovarian Cyst common symptoms (for more info check my previous post on Ovarian Cysts) Pelvic pain that is dull or sharp aching. Pelvic pain before or during the menstrual cycle. Painful periods PMS. Abdominal bloating or swelling. Nausea and vomiting. Painful bowel movements. Painful intercourse, very painful and major discomfort. Pain in the lower back or thighs. Breast tenderness. Uterine Fibroid common symptoms All listed for Ovarian Cysts Heavy or prolonged menstrual periods. Abnormal bleeding between menstrual periods. Iron deficiency anemia due to heavy bleeding or excessive bleeding. Pelvic pain caused by the tumor pressing on pelvic organs. "Looking Pregnant" and not knowing why. Frequent urination because the fibroid presses against the urinary bladder. Urinary incontinence. Unable to lose weight or being stuck at your weight. In some cases increases chances of infertility. [Tweet "Between 20 to 50% of women of reproductive age have fibroids and higher after age 25."] What is a Uterine Fibroid? Fibroids are muscular tumors that grow in the wall of the uterus (womb).  Fibroids are almost always benign, which are not cancerous tumors.  According to my OBGYN, there is a 1% chance of cancer probabilities in the center of the fibroid.   There are a few types of fibroids depending on which layer of the uterine wall they are found. Submucosal: fibroids grow into the uterine cavity (inside the uterus). Intramural: fibroids grow within the wall of the uterus. Subserosal: fibroids grow on the outside of the uterus. Not every woman will experience symptoms.  Some, don't have any and some have very severe symptoms.  My pain was unbearable the first-day menstrual periods and on pressing my abdomen mainly.  I also started having lower back pain around September and it's when I knew something was not right, aside from the fact that I looked pregnant daily. What causes a Uterine Fibroid? Currently, there is no evidence pointing out clearly the exact causes.  It is assumed it can be hereditary or that each tumor develops from an aberrant muscle cell in the uterus, which multiplies rapidly because of the influence of estrogen.  This is why it is so important to become aware of this and avoid anything that can increase estrogen levels (soy, foods, stress, cortisol, plastic, etc). What is the name of the surgery to remove Uterine Fibroids? It is called a general Myomectomy, which is more invasive and causes a large incision in your lower abdomen.  When I lost my right ovary, I ended up with a 13 cm scar and my worry was being opened again in the same area, but thankfully doctor chose a Robotic Laparoscopic Myomectomy, which is less invasive and only 4 small incisions were made. Given the fact I have 4 small incisions, you might wonder how on earth did they remove an 8cm diameter tumor and an ovarian cyst?  I know, I had the same question.  They use a technique called Morcellation, which is a surgical instrument used in hysterectomies and myomectomies.  I was asked to sign a consent form because it is FDA warned they may spread uterine cancer, in case the Uterine fibroid had any.  Basically, morcellation works by splicing up a large mass/tumor into smaller pieces inside the belly cavity to be able to extract through small incisions and avoid opening up the patient. Now I want to explain what an Endometrioma Cyst is. In my previous post, I talked about Corpus Luteum Cyst and other types, but I didn' not mention this one because frankly, I was unaware of its existence. Basically, it's Endometriosis tissue that spread beyond the outside of the uterus.  I will do a separate post on Endometriosis. Endometriosis grows outside of the uterus and can spread to nearby organs. In my case, it spread to my Left Ovary and fallopian tube creating a cyst.  In other words, I had endometriosis in my left ovary and fallopian tube.   My symptoms were same as above on my list. I hope you found this post full of knowledge and information to help you take care of your female reproductive health.  I hope you share it with someone that can be experiencing the same symptoms and let her know I feel her pain. Thank you for reading my loves, Love, Mary Miranda from My Fit Healing

November 2017, I was finally able to get health care for OBGYN only and immediately scheduled an appointment.  The fear of another ovarian cyst or if the fibroid had grown more was always in the back of my head, but I tried not to focus or think negatively of it.  I practice the Law of Attraction so I tend not to focus on the negative to avoid attracting more negative feelings or situations into my life.  Yet, not experiencing any symptoms kept me unworried and feeling everything was okay.   As soon as Nurse Practitioner did my pelvic exam, I felt an overwhelming amount of painful pressure in my abdomen.  I knew something was not right.  She didn’t say a word and said I’d get results in a few days.   I didn’t get a diagnosis or the ultrasound prescription I wanted.  She said I needed to make the appointment with the OBGYN.  A few weeks passed and I finally got my appointment and ultrasound order.   A Uterine Fibroid or Ovarian Cysts are only visible and detected via ultrasounds.  A pelvic exam can be tricky to detect them.  I saw the ultrasound and my eyes widened seeing how big it had gotten.   I couldn’t believe it.  It was twice the size of my uterus and had grown 3-4 times since 2014.  Yet, the Ultrasound technician never mentioned a mass in my left ovary.  I left and waited to see the OBGYN two weeks later and he broke the news, “Mary, you have a Uterine Fibroid Tumor that’s 8cm in diameter and Endometrioma Cyst.”  I thought, “endo what?”  He didn’t really explain what it was, he just said I needed to find a way to have surgery soon.

I left the office crying and literally afraid to lose my chances of being a Mother.  So many things went through my mind, “what if I lose the ovary.” “what if the ovary is not pathologically functional,” “what if I lose my uterus,” “what if I have to get a hysterectomy.”  I was in anguish because I want to have a baby.  That’s all I could think about.

Having a Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst is not the end of the world, but for me, it felt it was the end of my chances of being a Mother.  I’m huge in personal development and mindset and thank goodness that kept me sane and mentally strong.  I knew I had to find a way to have the surgery.  The healthcare I got, did not cover anything outside of that clinic.  I found a way to make things happen, I applied for financial assistance at the hospital and created a GoFundMe that helped me part of my portion the hospital approved.

My surgery was February 9th at 2 pm.  The doctor was able to remove the Uterine Fibroid and Endometrioma Cyst and save my chances of being able to have a baby.  The surgery was a success and I’m so very glad it was over.  I’m currently sitting here, narrating my story 1 week postsurgery.  I was released the next day and now I’m home recovering.

Now, I want to share a few overlapping symptoms that you can experience with an ovarian cyst and uterine fibroid. It is important for me to share these, in case you are reading this and find yourself experiencing any of them.

My Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Surgery and Story _ mary Miranda at My Fit Healing 2

Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Overlapping Symptoms

Ovarian Cyst common symptoms (for more info check my previous post on Ovarian Cysts)

  • Pelvic pain that is dull or sharp aching.
  • Pelvic pain before or during the menstrual cycle.
  • Painful periods PMS.
  • Abdominal bloating or swelling.
  • Nausea and vomiting.
  • Painful bowel movements.
  • Painful intercourse, very painful and major discomfort.
  • Pain in the lower back or thighs.
  • Breast tenderness.

Uterine Fibroid common symptoms

  • All listed for Ovarian Cysts
  • Heavy or prolonged menstrual periods.
  • Abnormal bleeding between menstrual periods.
  • Iron deficiency anemia due to heavy bleeding or excessive bleeding.
  • Pelvic pain caused by the tumor pressing on pelvic organs.
  • “Looking Pregnant” and not knowing why.
  • Frequent urination because the fibroid presses against the urinary bladder.
  • Urinary incontinence.
  • Unable to lose weight or being stuck at your weight.
  • In some cases increases chances of infertility.


Between 20 to 50% of women of reproductive age have fibroids and higher after age 25.
Click To Tweet


 

What is a Uterine Fibroid?

Fibroids are muscular tumors that grow in the wall of the uterus (womb).  Fibroids are almost always benign, which are not cancerous tumors.  According to my OBGYN, there is a 1% chance of cancer probabilities in the center of the fibroid.   There are a few types of fibroids depending on which layer of the uterine wall they are found.

  1. Submucosal: fibroids grow into the uterine cavity (inside the uterus).
  2. Intramural: fibroids grow within the wall of the uterus.
  3. Subserosal: fibroids grow on the outside of the uterus.

Not every woman will experience symptoms.  Some, don’t have any and some have very severe symptoms.  My pain was unbearable the first-day menstrual periods and on pressing my abdomen mainly.  I also started having lower back pain around September and it’s when I knew something was not right, aside from the fact that I looked pregnant daily.

What causes a Uterine Fibroid?

Currently, there is no evidence pointing out clearly the exact causes.  It is assumed it can be hereditary or that each tumor develops from an aberrant muscle cell in the uterus, which multiplies rapidly because of the influence of estrogen.  This is why it is so important to become aware of this and avoid anything that can increase estrogen levels (soy, foods, stress, cortisol, plastic, etc).

What is the name of the surgery to remove Uterine Fibroids?

It is called a general Myomectomy, which is more invasive and causes a large incision in your lower abdomen.  When I lost my right ovary, I ended up with a 13 cm scar and my worry was being opened again in the same area, but thankfully doctor chose a Robotic Laparoscopic Myomectomy, which is less invasive and only 4 small incisions were made.

Given the fact I have 4 small incisions, you might wonder how on earth did they remove an 8cm diameter tumor and an ovarian cyst?  I know, I had the same question.  They use a technique called Morcellation, which is a surgical instrument used in hysterectomies and myomectomies.  I was asked to sign a consent form because it is FDA warned they may spread uterine cancer, in case the Uterine fibroid had any.  Basically, morcellation works by splicing up a large mass/tumor into smaller pieces inside the belly cavity to be able to extract through small incisions and avoid opening up the patient.

My Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Surgery and Story _ mary Miranda at My Fit Healing 5

Now I want to explain what an Endometrioma Cyst is.

In my previous post, I talked about Corpus Luteum Cyst and other types, but I didn’ not mention this one because frankly, I was unaware of its existence.

Basically, it’s Endometriosis tissue that spread beyond the outside of the uterus.  I will do a separate post on Endometriosis. Endometriosis grows outside of the uterus and can spread to nearby organs. In my case, it spread to my Left Ovary and fallopian tube creating a cyst.  In other words, I had endometriosis in my left ovary and fallopian tube.   My symptoms were same as above on my list.

I hope you found this post full of knowledge and information to help you take care of your female reproductive health.  I hope you share it with someone that can be experiencing the same symptoms and let her know I feel her pain.

My Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Surgery and Story _ mary Miranda at My Fit Healing 3

Thank you for reading my loves,

Love,

Mary Miranda from My Fit Healing

The post My Uterine Fibroid Tumor and Endometrioma Cyst Surgery and Story appeared first on My Fit Healing.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags | Are you in an Abusive Relationship?

50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags

Being in an unhealthy or abusive relationship is so common nowadays.  Are you in one? or Are you are unaware if you are?  Well, I’m here to help you find out by giving you my top 50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags.  Now you can have this handy list and assess if you are in an abusive and unhealthy relationship yourself and get informed.  My goal is to inform you and arm you with knowledge of Abusive Relationship Red Flags.

It is very common to only categorize domestic violence or abusive relationship as physical, but there is “hidden abuse” in the form of psychological and verbal abuse.  Psychological can often be referred to emotional abuse or mental abuse.  For the purposes of my blog, I will use both psychological.  Psychological abuse and verbal abuse often hurt more than physical abuse.  Words and insults can stab you and stay with you for years and cause PTSD and emotional trauma.  Often it strips your worth, value, identity, self-love, self-esteem and can deeply affect your emotional wellbeing.

50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags _ Mary Miranda at My Fit Healing _twitter meta

Here are the common Abusive Relationship Red Flags (Unhealthy Relationships).

  1. Love bombing! He showers you with extreme amounts of love, affection, and romanticism really fast in unhealthy and not normal amounts.  This is the honeymoon stage where you are bombarded with love and romance in an excessive amount that you have never been before.  He will tell you “I’ve never felt like this with anyone before.”  or “you are the one” (really fast), or “I never knew I can love like this.”  or “You are better than any girl I’ve dated.”  NOTE:  it is important to keep an eye the first months for additional red flags as this can also be part of a normal relationship and a good man conquering your heart. But, the love bombing will feel off and too superficial. You will even say “is this even true?”
  2. Extremely charming, aka Prince Charming.
  3. Calling you baby, cute names, or my love fairly fast. Sometimes even before meeting in person
  4. He doesn’t take the time to get to know you!  He wants to rush your relationship really fast.
  5. He says I LOVE YOU within days of meeting you.  He falls fairly fast in love.
  6. Rush intimacy or make sexual comments very early, even on the first time chatting.
  7. It seems like a fairytale and everything is rose colors.  It seems “too good to be true.”
  8. Inconsistent Behavior. When his words don’t match his actions
  9. He is Wishy-washy, hot-cold, and push-pull.  His behavior is inconsistent and leaves you feeling if he is interested or not and confused about his intentions with you.
  10. He is a chronic liar and often his lies don’t make sense.  Things he says just don’t add up and you are often questioning if he is telling the truth.
  11. He strings you along and you never know where you are standing in this person’s life.
  12. His relationship with his Dad is bad or doesn’t even have one.  He is more of a Mom’s boy or Mommy’s boy.  Often this stems from a childhood where he is simply mirroring how his Dad treated his Mom and what he witnessed on abuse, addictions, cheating, sex or other abusive behaviors.  Try asking about his childhood and the relationship with Mom and Dad. Was there some type of abuse or trauma they can project onto you?
  13. He has a fair amount of CRAZY exes.  Find out how he talks about exes – if they are all crazy, psychos, jealous, possessive, cheated or whatever, then he is the common denominator in that.  Often narcissistic abusers/narcs/emotional manipulators call exes “crazy.”
  14. Find out if he cheated in the past. This can be a huge sign.
  15. He takes no accountability for his acts.  He is the victim in his past relationships.  He tells you the story that you end up feeling sorry for him because he suffered so much. It was never his fault, he didn’t do anything.  He puts all blame on ex(s).  Which you end up resenting or hating thinking they were this horrible monsters that made him suffer and you will be the woman to show him real love and how he should be treated.  You will be “the one.” You will be his savior.
  16. He disappears for days with no warning.  Then he comes back as if nothing happened, no explanation and acting cool.  He gives no accountability for his whereabouts and makes you feel you are crazy for asking or like it’s not a big deal.
  17. He is not emotionally available.  He is not there for you emotionally when you need him.  You can’t connect with him on that level or ask him how he feels.  He is often stoic, blocked or doesn’t show emotions, such as holding hands, telling you how he feels.  This is also when you need comfort and emotional support he won’t do that because he doesn’t have empathy.  If you cry, he won’t’ console you and he will sometimes get mad at you crying and call you super sensitive.
  18. Commitment issues.  He is “afraid” of commitment.
  19. He insults you and calls you names.  He degrades you and puts you down.  He crushes your self-esteem and self-love daily.  He tells you to shut-up, you are not smart, you are ugly, points out you are “fat,” or diminishes something about your persona.  This is the worst type of psychological abuse because it literally tears you apart and makes you feel you are unworthy, not good enough, unlovable, not valuable and belittles the amazing woman you truly are.
  20. Something feels off in your gut.  You know something is not right, yet you stay.
  21. Don’t listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings.. .things always have to be done their way.  They must always be the center of attention.
  22. He ignores you, gives you the silent treatment, doesn’t reply to texts or answer phone calls.  He can go days with no contact with you for no reason.  Yet he expects you to reply or answer his calls within seconds because all hell will break loose if you don’t.  This is often one we don’t think about but is a form of psychological abuse.
  23. You are always in anxiety.  Your thoughts start raising and going crazy, chest pains and everything is triggered by something he did, said or you perhaps saw something in social media.  Now, this can be a little tricky because women tend to be very jealous, but the behavior here is if this person is showing signs of disrespect (flirting publically with other women, cheating behaviors, or something where he is not giving you your place.)  No “healthy” relationship will ever trigger anxiety and stress in this manner.
  24. Each time you try to communicate everything ends up in a fight and a huge argument.  Then he puts all blame on you and tells you everything is your fault and all problems are because of you.  Often, we want to “communicate” about their questionable behavior of flirting or cheating and they end up blaming you for being super jealous, possessive, psycho and insecure.
  25. You avoid confronting him or talking about something that you saw that bothered you or question him for something, even if you try to communicate in a nice way.  You end up feeling afraid because you know it will end up in a huge fight and he will put the blame on you.  Remember, he takes no accountability for what he does. You find yourself afraid to bring up findings to avoid making him upset or if you do bring it up he will either break up or say is all in your head.
  26. He hides you in social media and publicly.  He won’t’ post about you or tag you on social media.  He won’t introduce you to his family and friends.  He will keep you in the down low “DL” and in “secret.”
  27. He has an addiction of alcohol, drugs, porn, sex, gambling or some other form of addicting behavior.
  28. Have a history of trouble with the law, get into fights, or break and destroy property.  He has even gone to jail.
  29. He has a parasitic existence (it’s a known term in narcissistic abuse).  He doesn’t work or goes to school.  He lives at parents house or someone is supporting him, most likely his Mom.
  30. Financial abuse is a huge one.  They often play a victim or fake an illness saying they need money to pay off a debt or medical bills or something in that instance.  They simply take advantage of you financially.  This also ties with them not working, so you end up “supporting” him financially.  I have read cases where the abuser fakes an illness and going to doctor and it was all fake.  He had other women and gambling addiction and that’s where he spent the money. Or it could be the person saying he has this huge debt to pay off and he has no way to do it.  So, he plays the victim so you can help him, but he has no intentions of paying you back.
  31. Has a history of domestic violence or abusing others.  He is not nice to people and is always talking bad about others.
  32. He bullies people or puts people down by calling them names, saying derogatory or discriminatory comments.  He has this grandiose personality and thinks he is better than others.
  33. He has anger issues.  He is always angry or mad at someone.  Note, sometimes depression is manifested as anger.
  34. He isolates you or makes you distance from family and friends.  He doesn’t want you hanging out with your closest loved ones.  This is huge tactic abusers use so you ‘only’ have them to rely on.
  35. They control whom you see or where you go.  He will get mad at you so you don’t go to a place or hang out with someone by making you feel guilty for wanting to do that activity.  He will guilt-trip you a lot. You have to constantly tell him your whereabouts and you have to literally report to him throughout the day.  This makes you feel in jail and unable to breathe.  You feel trapped!
  36. Often there is sexual abuse in a relationship where he will force intimacy when you don’t want to be intimate.  Yes, this is sexual abuse and rape if you are forced and don’t consent to it, even if you are in a relationship with them.  If you feel forced to have intimacy is a huge red flag.
  37. He is overly jealous of other men in your life, specially male-friendships.  He often makes comments or accuses you of flirting or “coming onto” or flirting with others or accuse you of cheating with them. He can’t stand you having small talk with other men and often will prohibit you from having male friendships.  It happened to me, I was accused of flirting with the bartender just because I asked a question about how he made some martini because I wanted one.
  38. He controls how you dress.  He doesn’t let you wear sexy and revealing clothing.  He tells you to want to wear because he is jealous other men will look at you or if you want to dress sexy and nice for him, he will accuse you of wanting to get attention from other men or call you vulgar names.
  39. He controls how you act and behave.  It gets to the toxic level of him controlling everything in your being.  You can’t make decisions alone anymore because you are afraid he will get mad.
  40. Threaten to kill themselves if you break up with them, or tell you that they cannot live without you when you want to leave.
  41. He is very volatile.  Experience extreme mood swings.  One minute he is lovey-dovey the next he is insulting you and blaming the dumbest thing on you making you feel horrible.  You spend your days walking on eggshells.
  42. “You are the same as my ex.”  He often compares you to exes and tells you are just the same as her/them.  Note: this was so not even the case at the beginning of the relationship.  He made you feel you are different, but in later stages of the abuse he ends up comparing you to them.
  43. You are emotionally drained and tired.  You have no energy to do anything you used to enjoy.  You are tired all the time from all the fighting, anxiety, emotional pain and feeling stuck.  You feel hopeless and stuck in a black hole.
  44. On/off relationship pattern.  Most of your relationship has been on/off, breakup/makeup.  You are constantly breaking up and getting back together.   The breakups are due to cheating, flirting or maybe lying or something along those lines.
  45. You try everything to fix things.  You keep trying harder and harder to find a way to be a better girlfriend because if you are a better girlfriend everything will be fixed and things will get better.  You always tell yourself things will get better.  You tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine.  You think is all in your hands and all up to you to make things better.
  46.  You are always sad, unhappy, depressed, miserable, and cry yourself to sleep.  You can’t believe this is your life and how you are hopeless.
  47. You have frequent suicidal thoughts because the emotional pain is so unbearable that you question why you are even here.
  48. You are afraid of him.  You are afraid of being alone with him.
  49. Gaslighting, where you end up not losing touch with reality. You don’t’ know if things are real anymore or if it was just in your head.  He makes you think you are crazy and question yourself a lot.  Gaslighting is used by manipulators to make their victims question their sanity. For example, he said something to you clearly and then you question him and he will say “what are you talking about? I never said that.  Where did you get that from? You probably made it up.”  or if you saw something online of cheating, he will say “it’s all in your head, you didn’t’ see right or you made it up or you are confused.”  You feel crazy and you feel you don’t’ know what’s truth or a lie anymore.
  50. Abuse keeps getting worst and worst, psychologically and verbally.  Often it gets to the point of physical abuse.  Physical abuse can also be pulling hair, yanking you, pushing you, moving you out of the way harshly, squeezing you, shocking you, shoving you or physically punching/kicking you.  Any type of psychological, verbal and physical abuse needs to be reported to authorities. Please consider calling 911 right, even if its days after it has happened.  Make sure you take pictures of your injuries and note anything you can.

My heart hurts after writing all these Abusive Relationship Red Flags.  I went through narcissistic abuse a few years back and it stripped me away from everything that I was.  I hope my 50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags helped you and trust me there are more than this.  I hope you can open your eyes and allow yourself to make the best decision for your life.  You deserve healthy and real love and never deserve for any of the Abusive Relationship Red Flags happen to you.

Share this with someone that might need it or to bring awareness.  It is crucial we inform teens of Abusive Relationship Red Flags to arm them with knowledge and lessen their chances of getting in unhealthy and abusive relationships.

Most of this Abusive Relationship Red Flags are from Narcissistic Abuse, which I will make an entire blog post on this topic.

Help spread this message of Abusive Relationship Red Flags

Have you ever experienced any of the Abusive Relationship Red Flags mentioned?

Do you know someone you love that is currently in an abusive relationship? Can you please share them with them?

How can you help me spread this message to bring awareness?

50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags _ Mary Miranda at My Fit Healing _ Pinterest

RESOURCES FOR VICTIMS AND SURVIVORS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
www.ndvh.org

National Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474
www.loveisrespect.org

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
1-800-537-2238
www.nrcdv.org and www.vawnet.org

Futures Without Violence: The National Health Resource Center on Domestic Violence
1-888-792-2873
http://ift.tt/1erFNJw

National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health
1-312-726-7020 ext. 2011
http://ift.tt/2eauCdN

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
http://ift.tt/tGgEv3

Resources used for search

  • Personal experience and knowledge through personal research
  • Coaching clients
  • Books Read
  • Articles Read
  • https://ncadv.org
  • http://ift.tt/16edd01

Love,

Mary

The post 50 Abusive Relationship Red Flags | Are you in an Abusive Relationship? appeared first on My Fit Healing.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

How I Lost My Right Ovary | My Personal Story on Losing an Ovary

I’ve been wanting to write my story on “How I Lost My Right Ovary.”  I didn’t know how to publically tell it, yet I knew I wanted to do it.  I think for so long I attached part of my identity to not having one ovary.  I felt defined for so many years by not having one ovary.  There were times I fell less of a woman, incomplete and not whole.  I attached my self-worth and self-esteem to not having one ovary.  Well, after I started My Fit Healing journey out of nowhere, the thoughts stopped because I did the inner work and up-leveled my self-love.  I no longer felt there was missing part of me, instead, I felt blessed and grateful my life was saved.  I felt more empowered to tell my story to show how we shouldn’t be defined by a health issue, illness or missing organ.  Now, I’d like to share with you how I lost my right ovary in 2006.

How I Lost My Right Ovary _ My Fit Healing _ Mary Miranda _ Pinterest

How I Lost My Right Ovary goes like this.

I started feeling really sharp pains in my abdominal area one day.  I thought they were cramps or colics from something I ate that didn’t sit well.  There were times I’d be paralyzed with pain and couldn’t even move because the pain would be unbearable.  I’d literally stay in a frozen position, the moment I moved the pain would get sharper.  There were two particular times that I vividly remember.  I was walking to my apartment from class on a summer day and it happened on the side street.  I felt a horrible and sharp pain on my right side.  I had to hold on to the rail and couldn’t move at all.  The pain lasted for a few minutes and dissipated after that.  I was fine and thought nothing of it.  Thought it was just cramps or colics.  Well, the 2nd time I can remember it happened at work.  I was in charge of the front room to welcome people.  All of a sudden I found myself holding on to the table because I was in excruciating pain, pain that you can’t move because it intensifies it.  Pain that makes you cry and doesn’t let you breathe.  I knew it wasn’t my appendix because I lost that in 2001.

I just thought nothing of it again. My mistake!  I was too worried about school, my social life at school, my boyfriend then and my college life.  On the weekend of June 3rd, I decided to go home to surprise my parents for their wedding anniversary.  I went to visit a friend because I didn’t want my parents to see me yet until the 3rd, which is the date of their anniversary.  I planned it so well and I knew they would be so excited to see me.  Well, on June 2nd, I walked down to the bathroom and I recall getting super hot, like hot flashes.  I was sweating and didn’t understand why.   I felt my blood-pressure drop and just got dizzy.  I remember I took my shirt off and put it on the floor to lie down to cool off.  All I remember next is waking up on the ceramic tile ground.  I managed to pull myself up and next thing I know, I woke up on the floor again.  What is happening I thought?  I had no idea.  I walked upstairs and it happened two more times as I was trying to get to the second floor.  I woke up in the middle of the stairs, tired, confused and dizzy.   I had fainted 4 times total.  No one heard me because I managed to get myself up again.  I went to the room and I fainted in the doorway.  I was immediately taken to the ER after fainting 5 times.  I was unconscious by the time I got the ER.  I remember kind of opening my eyes and all was blurry and fell back asleep.  I remember they put me in a wheelchair and that’s all I know.

I had no notion of life or what was happening.  Next thing I know my Mom woke me up and said: “you are going into surgery and they are going to remove your ovary.”  I remember crying and saying to her “no I don’t want to lose it.  Don’t let them take it out.”  I was not capable of making decisions and my parents had to consent to emergency surgery because I was on the verge of dying.  The blood was in my abdominal area and had gone up my lungs.  I had a corpus luteum cyst that ruptured and in efforts to save my life, they had to remove the ovary and fallopian tube, in what is called a Unilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy.

I woke up heavily under morphine and with a massive headache.  The light was so bright and my parents were there on June 3rd, their anniversary.  What a surprise I gave them.  I remember being so drugged up that I felt happy and I don’t think I had comprehended well how I lost my right ovary.  My headaches wouldn’t go away.  They were pounding headaches due to iron deficiency anemia produced by all the blood I lost.  I had 2 blood transfusions.  They saved my life again.  I’m sure I can’t remember many things from this tragic time on How I Lost My Right Ovary, but I’m trying to be as descriptive as I can.

In this image, you can see my scar… It’s 13 cm wide.

How I Lost My Right Ovary | My Fit Healing | Mary Miranda | Default 3

Now, I want to share with you what a Corpus Luteum Cyst is, symptoms and awareness information.

Corpus Luteum Cyst Symptoms | How I Lost My Right Ovary

  • Pelvic pain that is dull or sharp aching.
  • Pelvic pain before or during the menstrual cycle.
  • Painful periods PMS.
  • Abdominal bloating or swelling.
  • Nausea and vomiting.
  • Painful bowel movements.
  • Painful intercourse, very painful and major discomfort.
  • Pain in the lower back or thighs.
  • Breast tenderness.

Many of the symptoms are associated with PMSing and can be confusing and often ignored, trust me I did that too.  I often thought it was cramps due to period and since I had been irregular most of my life until 2006 I didn’t think anything of it.  I thought I was probably getting a second period within 28 days, which it wasn’t unusual for me.  Even when getting yearly pap-smears, I was never told I had a cyst on my Obgyn through a pelvic exam.  If the doctor is not able to say something, please ask for an ultrasound if you experience any of the symptoms.

I learned that all women have ‘cysts-like-fluid-sacs’ called follicles as part of our monthly cycle.  If the follicle keeps growing it becomes a Functional Cyst.  There are two types of Functional Cysts, Follicular and Corpus Luteum.  Well, a Corpus Luteum Cyst may disappear in a few weeks.  In some cases, a Corpus Luteum Cyst may expand by filling with blood or liquid and attach itself to the ovary, which is exactly what happened to my right ovary.  The Corpus Luteum Cyst may still exhibit no symptoms, but in some cases may grow, bleed or twist the ovary. This may cause pain in the pelvis or the abdomen and may require surgery.

How I Lost My Right Ovary | My Fit Healing | Mary Miranda | blog image 1

In my efforts to tell you my personal story of How I Lost My Right Ovary due to a ruptured Corpus Luteum Cyst, I want to ask you to help me bring awareness for preventive Women’s reproductive health.  It is so important to be empowered with information to prevent many unneeded situations, such as what happened to me.

I can’t even tell you what is going through my head right now. On January 16th, 2018, my new Obgyn told me he reviewed the pathological results from my surgery in 2006 and my ovary was healthy.  It was functional and ovulating.  There could have been a way to save it by removing the cyst carefully and suturing the ovary back.  Yet, I know it was an emergency surgery due to the loss of blood in my abdominal area and lungs.  I don’t know if the young surgeon could have done anything to prevent the removal of my right ovary.  Now, I sit here writing facing a similar situation.  I’m on the verge of losing my left ovary to an endometrioma cyst and I also have uterine fibroid tumor of 8cm in diameter.  My surgery is on Feb 9th, 2018.  Stay tuned for my blog post on my Tumor Story and facing this situation for the 2nd time.

How I Lost My Right Ovary _ My Fit Healing _ Mary Miranda _ Twitter

Please share to bring awareness and make sure if you have daughters, and they experience painful periods to take matters and make sure they don’t have ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids, endometriosis or other female reproductive problems..  This is all I ask. If my story can bring awareness and help someone save her ovaries, I’d be so blessed.  More blessed than I am today.  I’m staying super positive, hopeful and with a lot of faith that my surgery will turn out great and a hysterectomy won’t’ be needed.

Do you know someone who is going through the same or has? Let me know in the comments!

What can you tell someone that is going through this situation?

Thank you for reading my story on How I Lost My Right Ovary,

Much love to you,

Mary Miranda

Check this blog post: I wrote this not knowing my bloating belly was produced by the tumor.  I thought it was mostly from Leaky Gut Syndrome Bloating After Eating

The post How I Lost My Right Ovary | My Personal Story on Losing an Ovary appeared first on My Fit Healing.